


Saudade

by chaoticamanda



Category: Star vs. The Forces Of Evil
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Confusing Teenage Feelings, F/M, Fluff, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Major character death - Freeform, Original Character Children, Post Season 2 Finale, Reunions, Roleswap, most if not all of these will be starco, some have jarco only to uphold cannon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-09-28 09:14:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10084751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaoticamanda/pseuds/chaoticamanda
Summary: A gathering of mostly unrelated oneshots to get us through this hiatus.





	1. come on feet, don't fail me now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the aftermath of starcrushed

There is no way to fully describe the way his stomach flips, the back of his neck prickles, or the way his chest constricts at the sight of her room erasing itself. “S-Star?” His voice is barely a whisper, shock strangling any words he could’ve said. His brain is working overtime to process the gaping hole in the ceiling, the plain bed that had once been a four-poster. He’s lived next to this room for his whole life, but it feels completely foreign.

Marco staggers forward, reaching his hand out as if the scene before him is just an illusion, a trick. His heart is pounding, his palms are sweating, and his breath is chopped into short rasps— _she’s gone, she’s gone, she’s gone._

Tears well in his eyes as he drops to his knees, too overwhelmed to hold himself up. Her words had come in a flurry downstairs, and there’d been too much coming at him to react in time. What if he had been able to respond? What if he had been just a little faster? “Star,” he croaks, wrapping his arms tightly around himself.

Marco’s biggest fear is change. Change is what he’d been trying to avoid by avoiding her—and now she’s gone.

 _“We need to talk…just one last time.”_ He clings to their last conversation, trying to make sense of something, everything, anything. _“Some things just came up and I only have a little time.”_ He’d been so stupid, so naïve. He thought he’d have the summer to spend with her and Jackie, an endless stretch of stress-free fun in the sun, but…that never could have happened anyway. Just because _he_ was happy, doesn’t mean that Star was—she’d lost everything, for Christ’s sake! He should’ve made sure she was happy, been there for her like she had always been for him.

 _“I…I…I do have a crush on you! I didn’t want to admit it, because I know you don’t feel the same way—and I thought if I just pretended the feelings weren’t there, they’d go away. But they haven’t. I have to leave Earth…probably forever, and I couldn’t go without telling you the truth.”_ Marco had been too focused on her confessions for her words to really sink in, for him to realize that she was _leaving._ He’d spluttered and hemmed and hawed and now she’s gone—his best friend, the best girl her knows.

He’d been so terrified of change, and now…now _everything_ has changed. What if he hadn’t been such a coward? What if he’d talked to her after the concert? What if he stopped playing it so fucking safe?

Someone steps up behind him and lays their hand on his shoulder, and it’s probably meant to be comforting, but it just makes him feel sick. He turns to look back, but it feels like he’s stretching something in his chest, something that just wants to be in Star’s room again. Jackie is staring down at him, a frown pulling at her lips. Janna is behind her, staring wide-eyed at the empty room. “Marco…what happened?”

He blinks and feels a sense of déjà vu, muscle memory from when he thought he’d lost her to the throes of Mewberty. Jackie waits, frowning down at him, and he scrubs at his cheeks to wipe away his tears. “S-She’s…gone,” his voice is rough, full of grief that he can’t contain. “I…I was too late.”

“You just let her go?” Janna demands, pushing past Jackie. Jackie shoots her a look, but Marco understands—it’s no different than what he’s saying to himself.

“She…she was already gone when I got here. Her room…” he takes a deep breath, “…her room was disappearing.”

Janna clenches her fists, glaring at Marco, “Why are you just sitting here?”

“Huh?” Marco’s head snaps up, staring at her.

“Why aren’t you going after her?” Janna demands, “I thought you were, like, her best friend!”

“I wa—I _am!”_ He clambers back to his feet, his own fists clenched now. “But she just _left!_ I have no idea what’s going on!”

“Maybe if you paid any attent—“ Janna’s seething, and she jabs a finger in his chest.

“I know!” Marco explodes, “I know I was a shitty friend! I _know,_ okay!”

Janna takes a step back, her face falling. Tears seem to be twitching at her eyes too, but she doesn’t let them fall. “Did she leave because of you?”

Marco feels something heavy plop down in his chest, as if his grief has solidified. His mouth opens, but he has no words to answer with. What if he was the reason? What if he hurt her so bad that she left everyone and everything behind?

“I’m sure Marco wasn’t the reason,” Jackie says gently, her voice careful, “She said something had, like, come up, right?”

Janna only spares Jackie a glance before she returns her glare to Marco, “You need to fix this.”

“How?” His voice is broken and cracked, and that ball in his chest feels like it’s slowly rotating, scraping his insides to remind him that he’s not okay.

“Go after her,” Janna says, desperate, “I’m not going to lose my friend because you’re too stupid to realize she’s amazing. No offense, Jackie.”

Marco frowns, “It’s not like that.”

“I don’t _care,”_ Janna cries, fisting her hands in her hair. “Just go!”

Marco nods, his steps heavy as he turns to leave Star’s room. He feels that stretching sensation again, and he pushes against it until it snaps. Leaving the room feels like a goodbye, like the period at the end of the sentence, but he refuses to think about it. Jackie follows him into his room, her steps quiet and slow behind him.

He forgets the picture frame on his desk that’s packed full of pictures of Star and him, his eyes are immediately drawn to it. She’d given it to him just before things had gotten _weird,_ and he can’t help the little gasp that escapes him, _“Oh.”_

There’s a picture of them on her second day of school, a copy of that one time at the bounce lounge, one from the national park, and one that his parents had taken of the two of them fast asleep on the couch after a movie night. The memories feel like fresh cuts, but nothing hurts worse than the glittery BEST FRIENDS FOREVER she had written on the frame. “Marco?”

“Huh?” He blinks away tears, glancing back at Jackie, ghosts of their good times echoing in his ears.

“What are you doing?” Jackie asks carefully, as if she’s afraid to spook him.

“I’m going to get my scissors and go after her,” Marco says firmly, but there is no strength in his fist. He strides over to his desk, trying to remember where he’d left them. His mind is scattered and disjointed, too overwhelmed after Star’s confession and subsequent escape.

“What if…” Jackie sighs, moving to sit on his bed, “…what if she doesn’t want you to go after her?”

Marco freezes as he digs through his desk drawer, that blob in his chest sprouting spikes that jab at his heart. Jackie bites her lip, “I’m sure she’s okay, Marco, she’s a pretty cool girl. She…she doesn’t really need you to protect her.”

He knows that Jackie means well, and she’s probably right, but he can’t shake the feeling that something is incredibly wrong, that the loss of Star is like the loss of a limb. Marco turns back to Jackie, to try to explain, when his heart stops as he catches the red glow of the moonlight behind her. “I just want a good—“

It’s a blood moon.

Last time he’d seen that, Star had almost died and lost both Glossaryck and her book. There is no telling what danger she’s in—and there’s no chance in hell that he’s not going after her. “Marco?” Jackie prompts, confused by his wide-eyes stare.

He blinks again, a new resolve sinking into him, shrinking his grief and taking the reins. “I’m not going to take that chance,” he answers, finally spotting the golden blades peeking out from under his bed.

So many things have been weird lately, have been off. The past several months have been the weirdest, technically speaking, of his life. But his best friend’s words echo in his chest, and there is no hesitance as he steps through the portal he creates.

_All that matters is that we have each other’s back._


	2. debts are due, it's time to pay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Star confronts Toffee. Inspired by the random dialogue generator, which gave me "I've been waiting a long time for you."

“I’ve been waiting a long time for you.”

Star would like to say that she’s not scared, but to say anything else would be a lie. She’s in a cave miles underground, she’s alone, and she’s currently standing in front of a deformed Ludo with Toffee’s voice. She knows that this is serious, dangerous, _stupid_ even, but that has never stopped her before.

When she made her way down here, leaving her mother and the magical high commission at their sacrament, she expected to fight to the death. It seems Toffee has other plans, as she’s found to be the case since the beginning, and he only sits on a rocky ledge that makes him just above eye level. Her voice is steady when she replies, but there is no mistaking the undercurrent of uncertainty, “Have you?”

“Of course,” Toffee’s deep voice is unsettling in the body that had once been Ludo’s, “There was never any doubt that there would be a Butterfly to follow in my Queen’s footsteps.”

“Y-Your queen?” Star’s eyes widen, and Toffee smiles down at her, baring all of his teeth.

“Queen Eclipsa,” Toffee elaborates, crossing his legs, “The only Butterfly to recognize how truly vile her kingdom was.”

“I’m nothing like Eclipsa,” Star spits, taking a threatening step forward. Eclipsa was _evil,_ and she abandoned her kingdom. Eclipsa had embraced the darkness, Star rejects it.

“I can tell,” Toffee raises an eyebrow at her, “that you wish that was true. But we both know what’s inside you.”

Star narrows her eyes, ignoring the way her stomach clenches. Flashes of that awful night of the dance flicker in her memory, no matter how hard she tries to ignore them. How many times had she put M—no, she can’t think of him. “You don’t know anything about me.”

“Do you want to know the truth, Star?” Toffee talks down to her, not waiting for her reply, “I don’t like you. I’ve been waiting for you for so long, since Eclipsa was lost, in fact. I imagined that the aspects you shared with her would make you legendary, that you would achieve your true purpose with all the poise and sense that she had. I hoped that your mother was the one we needed, but she…she was disappointing. When you began to show signs of divergence from your family, I knew you were the one. But things have become complicated, and you refuse your potential as if her magic is not a part of your very being while you harbor something I would very much like returned to me.”

“I don’t like you either,” Star grimaces, her fingers tightening around her wand. Toffee stands and she tenses, carefully eyeing his movement.

“I’m asking you now to return my finger,” Toffee says, holding out his three-fingered hand, the sickly green half-star glistening in his palm. “You still have a chance to fulfill your potential, to continue Eclipsa’s work. Return my finger, ascend to your true nature, be the ruler Mewni _deserves.”_

“You hurt people close to me, you’re the reason I had to leave Earth, you made me _destroy_ my wand!” Star bristles, “Why would I _ever_ listen to you? _Join_ you?”

“Earth?” Toffee scoffs, his lip pulled in disdain, “You say you’re nothing like Eclipsa, you act like you’re _better_ than her when you would act exactly as she had! You were born with a responsibility to your wretched kingdom, but you would forsake it for _love,_ for freedom!”

Star gasps, the breath caught in her chest. Of course, she wanted to stay on Earth with…of course she wanted to stay, and even though being Queen was terrifying, she knew it was her fate. She couldn’t escape Mewni—she knew that she couldn’t run away from her problems, as appealing as it was.

That’s why she’d come down here alone, to face Toffee.

“I’m not going to explain myself to you,” She says, calling on all of her bravery and courage, “You would never understand. Dagger Crystal Heart Attack!” A burst of sparkling pink energy bursts from her wand, jagged hearts being propelled by it.

Toffee dodges the spell, sneering down at her, “You think I don’t know anything about _love?_ You think I don’t know how _weak_ it makes you?” A blast of green energy comes shooting at her, as if to demonstrate his point.

She tries not to let his words get to her, to focus on the magic she needs to take him down—even though he took out the whole high commission with apparent ease. “Mega Explosive Crystal Laser!” A jet of deep red sparks shoots from the wand, but it misses Toffee and hits the rocky ceiling above him. A few chunks of rock are knocked loose, but none of them hit him.

“Didn’t your mother ever tell you, Star?” Toffee taunts, levitating the chunks of rock and sending them flying toward her. “There was a time where she was more like you, like Eclipsa, than she cares to remember.”

“Shut up!” Star snarls, sickly bright green lightning arcing out of the wand and crawling along the ledge until it finds Toffee. There is no way for him to dodge it, and it makes his limbs spasm and twitch, but there is a wide smile on his face.

Toffee jerks his head forward, and Star is unprepared for the wave of energy that knocks her onto her back, and the burning green energy that rises from the ground and slinks around her wrists and ankles, locking her into place. “See how weak love has made you—how vulnerable?”

“No!” Star struggles against the bindings, tears leaking from the corners of her eyes down her temples. Her wrists and her ankles are burning, and she feels helpless in a way that makes her heart pound and her throat feel closed.

It was a mistake to come here alone, but she hadn’t wanted anyone else to get hurt.

Mother of Mewni, she missed Marco. If she’s going to die here, in this dirty cave at the hands of Toffee—or _hand_ of Toffee, at least she was honest with her best friend. She loves him, as a best friend and something deeper, even if it hurts like nothing else she’s ever experienced. She had arrived on Earth knee-deep in culture she didn’t understand, and he had helped her—after she’d taken the first step, of course. Since day one their relationship has been an equal partnership, the two of them giving and taking, being reckless and safe, loving and being loved.

If there was a way to have circumvented the _weirdness_ that had splintered them, maybe she would have taken it. But there’s been a part of her—the soft, safe, _Marco_ part—that thinks that maybe it was for the best. He has Jackie: a beautiful, cool, fun girl to test his limits on Earth—where he can be safe and away from her chaotic life.

How many times had she put him in danger?

Star had been incredibly lucky every time she had saved him. There was nothing in any dimension that would stop her from trying, but there was never a guarantee she would succeed. The only guarantee she ever had is that she loves him—

The thought slams into her chest and she inhales a deep breath that ignites a fire in her hearts—both the one in her chest and the two on her cheeks. She had been seeing things from the wrong perspective, hadn't made the connection that allows her to move forward. Toffee has been bent over her wand, which had been knocked out of her hand when she hit the ground. “Toffee!” Star booms, her voice rich and reverberating as her body hums with energy.

He whips back around to face her, and she flexes her fingers, dissolving the energy that binds her to the floor. “You were wrong,” She says, rising from the ground, floating a few inches above it, holding her arms out wide. He looks up at her with narrowed eyes, his hand half-raised as if to shield himself. “Love never made me weak,” Star’s eyes begin to glow, and everything seems so clear to her, “It gives me _strength!”_

She narrows her eyes, all fear dissipating and being replaced with an utter sureness. Time feels like it slows as she brings her hands together in a thunderous clap, a scream of might tearing from her lips. The cave is engulfed in a white light, so much energy being propelled out of her that the cave shakes from the force.

This is going to end here, one way or another—that much Star knows as she unlocks her full potential, thoughts of her love for Marco vitalizing her power and giving her the strength she needs to make things right, and that's exactly what she intends to do.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really like the idea of toffee being way older than he seems (bc lizards regenerate), and he once served eclipsa (from the armor he was wearing in moon's tapestry), so he's been waiting for all the next queen of darkness since she's been lost. also yeah i really subscribed to the moon/toffee thing before he killed her in the finale (i still do, just in a different way)


	3. come on, stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Star and Marco reunite after a year and a half.  
> Random Dialogue Generator: "I dread the sound of his key in the lock." It's a little different for my purposes.

She dreads the sound of his key in the lock.

A moment of fear seizes her—she shouldn’t have come back, he’s probably so happy and _safe_ , and god, she’s so different. This is a bad idea, there’s no way he wants to see her, she should just run while she has the chance.

But then it’s too late.

Marco’s pulling his keys from the front door, a bag over one of his arms and a faraway look on his face, like he’s lost in thought. She can’t tear her eyes away from him—he looks older, his shoulders broader and his hair a little longer, tufts licking at his ears. Like her, he’s gained a few inches, still taller than her even though they’ve both grown. It’s clear from his arms that he’s kept up with karate, and she really can’t help but ogle with wide eyes.

“Hey, Mo—“ The word dies on his lips as he realizes it’s not his mother on the couch. They stare at each other with wide eyes, all the words they never had the chance to speak thick in the air between them. Her heart is pounding, and anything she has prepared to say has fled from her mind. Marco’s warm brown eyes are roving all over her body, darting from her short hair to her different outfit to her own wide stare.

Marco takes a tentative step forward, his eyes never leaving her as he lets his bag drop onto the floor. It feels so hard to breathe, her chest fluttering nervously. It’s been almost a year and a half and so much has happened, and she’s missed him more than anything, but knowing that he was safe was enough to keep her away. But now Toffee and the creatures he’d brought with him are defeated, and she couldn’t keep herself away any longer—she had to _know_.

“S-Star?” Marco’s voice cracks and he swallows, his adam’s apple bobbing. He takes another step forward, and she can see tears welling in his eyes. “A-Are you real…?”

Her face crumples as she nods furiously, tears spilling over her own cheeks. They launch themselves at each other, closing the short distance and wrapping their arms around each other. “Marco,” she sobs into his neck, her hand clutching at the hair on the back of his head, “I’m _s-so sorry.”_

One of his arms is tight around her waist and the other is constantly moving, touching her shoulder, her hair, her back, as if he can’t believe he’s really holding her. His face is pressed against her hair, crying almost as hard as she is. “Star, Star, _Star…”_

She’s not sure how long they stand there, crying into each other. She was terrified that he would hate her, especially after she had confessed her feelings and then left. He had tried to come after her, but Mewni had been locked down. The Court had thanked him for his service and then sent him away with a warning that they were taking defensive measure that he would not be excused from should he try to return.

Pony Head had told her once that he’d come to her for help, but even Star and Pony Head had been limited only to calls. Star had been guilty when she was glad that he came after her, but eventually he must have realized there was no way to get to her. That had hurt, but it was for the best. One of the lessons she’d learned was exactly that—pain was sometimes necessary for the greater good.

Marco pulls back first, his hands sliding to cradle her face, pulling her left and right, examining her, “Are you o-okay? You look so different, I—“ He cuts himself off, too overwhelmed to really put together what he wants to say.

Star swallows, the fear crawling back up her throat. She’s never been good with facing her problems, and even though she’s working on it, facing Marco is frightening. Just because he’s happy-ish to see her doesn’t mean he’s not mad. “I’m sorry,” she says again, her voice rough and weak.

“I…” Marco glances away, “I’m sorry too. I-I should’ve done something when I realized how upset you were. But…”

Star swallows as he looks back at her, his brow furrowed, “…you shouldn’t have just taken off like that. I was so worried…”

“I…” Star bites her lip to keep herself from crying again, “I didn’t have a lot of time. Things were c-complicated.”

“I could have helped you,” He says, and it almost sounds like he’s begging her, as if they’re back in that moment.

Star shakes her head slowly, looking up at him with sad eyes, “It was too dangerous, Marco. You could have been killed—people _were.”_

Marco pales at that, his voice full of hurt and sincerity, “How was I supposed to have your back if I didn’t even know what was going on?”

Star pulls further back, stepping out of his arms and twisting her fingers together. Her smile is small and sad, “I just wanted you to be happy and _safe_ —you could do that with Jackie here on Earth. You didn’t need me to mess anything else up.”

 _“Star,”_ Marco steps close to her, making up the space she had gained, and grabs her shoulders, “You’re my best fucking friend. There’s no way I could ever be happy with you alone and in danger—especially not for _my sake!_ I would have done anything, _anything,_ to be by your side, no matter how unsafe it was!”

 _“Marco,”_ Star can’t help the tears that burst out of her, wrapping her arms around herself. It feels like her chest is splitting open and all the feelings she’d squashed down are pouring out. Every feeling—her love for Marco, her fear of Toffee, her grief, her homesickness for _Earth_ —they all pour from her in short sobs.

Marco wraps his arms around her again, gently stroking her hair, his own voice once again choked, “You don’t know how much you mean to me. I’m sorry.”

“Are you m-mad at m-me?” She gasps, clinging to his familiar red sweatshirt.

“No,” He turns his face into her hair, pressing his nose against her and squeezing his eyes closed, “No, no, no—you came _back._ ”

“I missed you so much,” She babbles, “I wanted to come back as soon as I left, but I couldn’t. As long as you were safe, I could deal with it. But then I—I couldn’t anymore. I had to see you.”

“I thought of you every single day,” he says, his voice rough, “I tried for three months to get to you, but Hekapoo disabled my scissors and I couldn’t get into Mewni. I just—I felt so _guilty_ , like you had left because of me. Janna stopped talking to me, and I broke up with Jackie—she didn’t deserve the way I was acting.”

Star is quiet for a moment as her fingers tighten their grip on him, and her voice is only a whisper, “I killed Toffee.”

“Whoa, _what?”_ Marco pulls back to look at her face, but she won’t meet his eyes.

“He wanted to use my magic—to possess me or use me or whatever—to destroy all of the Mewmans who stood in his way. He—He killed—He was so _evil.”_ She speaks quickly, like she doesn’t want him to hear it, but she needs to get it out.

“I…” There’s too much to think about, to process for him to make a real response, but he’s learned his lesson about not speaking, “It’s okay.”

Star looks at him then, her eyes wide and wet and she doesn’t have the words to express how much she needed to hear that from him. She steps away from him, offering what feels like the first genuine smile to pull at her lips in a year. “Thank you, Marco.”

His answering smile is so familiar and gentle that her chest flutters again. Hope kindles within her, that maybe they can turn back the clock and be together again. Coming to see him was a good idea, even if it’s taken a lot out of her emotionally. To be honest, she’s actually kind of hungry.

Star moves to go past him into the kitchen, but his arm shoots out to grab her, and she can see the fear and panic in his eyes, “Where are you going?”

“To get some food,” She says softly, summoning her courage and moving her arm until their fingers are linked together, “You still make those awesome nachos?”

Marco relaxes, and she feels a little thrill in her stomach when he squeezes her hand, “’Course, come on.”

Star lets him lead the way, their hands still clasped together. There’s still a lot to talk about, but she’s not scared anymore—not now that she has Marco back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had a lot of ideas for reunions, so there may be another chapter with a different kind.


	4. in eyes once familiar, how stranger i seem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> star and marco reunite after 16 years, and he and jackie have a kid

Star can’t help but pause at the edge of the sidewalk, staring at the place that had once been her home. It’s been, what, fifteen years? There are subtle changes that tell her that time has passed here, most noticeably the absence of her spire, but she can almost pretend that she is still a girl on her way home from school. Almost.

Of course she feels anxious, her palms sweating and her eyes darting nervously around the property, but there’s something strange in her chest that is not entirely unpleasant. A car drives past behind her and she jumps, blood rushing to her cheeks as she’s reminded that this dimension is once again a stranger to her. It’s still warm, still scattered with succulents, still wonderfully distracting, but it’s not _hers._

She almost turns around and leaves, as if simply staring at Marco’s old house could give her catharsis. But she is Star Butterfly, and she doesn’t run anymore. With a deep breath, she twists her fingers together nervously and takes a tentative step forward, as if the ground will give way beneath her.

It doesn’t, but she does hear a peal of laughter from the backyard, unmistakably from a child. The sound makes her stomach clench, but she forces herself forward, avoiding the front door and going straight to the fence that separates the backyard from the front. There is more laughter, the sound of a little boy mumbling as he plays, acting out different parts in his little world. Curious, she peeks over the fence, unconsciously levitating herself.

Her heart squeezes painfully when she catches sight of a small boy with a messy mop of brown hair. He’s playing with two small toys, one doll that’s dressed like a princess and another that looks like some sort of large lizard creature that Star doesn’t have the name for. The boy sounds like he’s deep in his narrative, dramatically acting out the story.

His eyes are green—such a beautiful color that Star knows belongs to only one other person. She can’t help the shock, the sadness, the regret that escapes her in a gasp. It’s been such a long time, and obviously she’s missed, well, everything, but Mother of Mewni…she wasn’t prepared for this.

She’s also not prepared for the boy’s eyes to shoot right up to where her head is peeking over the fence, freezing as he sees this weird woman watching him. He watches her for a moment, glancing back at the house and then back at her, slowly opening his mouth. Star panics and shoots over the fence, landing gently on the grass beside him and shaking her hands frantically and kneeling, whispering, “No! Please don’t yell!”

The boy is staring at her with wide eyes and a slack jaw. She smiles sheepishly, “Hi, I’m Star Butterfly! Who—What’s your name?”

The boy blinks at her, his toys forgotten in his hands, “I’m Matty!”

“Matty?” She breathes, and it takes everything she has not to cry, “Is y-your daddy here?”

“Do you want to meet him?” Matty seems fully of excitement for a moment, but then his face falls, “Actually…Daddy says I’m not supposed to talk to strangers…”

“I’m not a stranger!” Star hurries, glancing back at the house, “I—I used to live here.”

The boy peers suspiciously at her, “I’ve never seen you here before!”

“Well,” Star sighs, “It’s been a long, long time. I just…I wanted to see your dad, we used to be friends. But—but how about you stay out here with me, so your dad doesn’t get mad? We…We can play.”

“Okay!” Matty nods vigorously, reaching out toward her cheeks, “You can fly, so you must be okay. Are those stickers?”

“What?” Star reaches up to touch her cheeks, “Oh, um, no. I… I was born like this.”

“Cool!” Matty seems impressed, making an adorable little face. He pushes the lizard creature into her hands, “You can be Jeffers, he loves Rebecca.”

“Oh!” Star can’t help but smile, taking Jeffers the lizard thing in her fingers. Tears well in her eyes, but they’re not exactly from sadness. Taking a deep breath, she leans conspiratorially in toward him, “Do you want to see some magic?”

“What? Yes!” Matty squeals, dropping the princess who she assumes is Rebecca.

Star smiles and closes her eyes, carefully moving her fingers, opening her eyes again to see the princess and the lizard suspended in the air. Matty is watching with his tiny hands pressed to his cheeks, his green eyes sparkling. Star concentrates on making the figures move, doing her best to make it look like they’re dancing together.

“Oh! My! God!” Matty shrieks in delight, utterly pleased by the sight before him. Star giggles too, tears spilling down her cheeks.

“Matty?” A concerned voice rings out, drawing their attention to the backdoor. The voice is deeper, but unmistakable. Star drops the dolls, skittering back away from Matty with a gasp.

“Daddy!” Matty claps as the same time that she says frantically, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

Marco is standing in the doorway, his eyes caught between his son and Star, hurt and confusion plain on his face, “S-Star…?”

He’s so different, but still so similar. His chest and shoulders are broader, he’s taller, and his face has lost that last little bit of baby fat, but he’s still got that mole, and his shirt is red even though it has white stripes on it, and his eyes are so painfully familiar. The hurt on his features is no stranger, either.

“M-Marco,” is all she can mumble, all of her worldly experience crumbling, her throat dry as Galafamor. What had she planned to say? _“I’m sorry I ran off sixteen years ago and locked you out seemingly forever?” “I missed you so much I thought it would kill me, but I knew you were safe, so I bore it?” “I could never forget you?”_

“Daddy!” Matty cries again, running over to wrap his father’s legs in a hug, “She’s magic!”

Marco’s hands drop to Matty’s small shoulders instinctively, wrapping almost protectively around him. Star’s hope shrinks, and she stumbles back onto her feet, her palms dirty.  “Star…” he shakes his head, mind racing too fast for his brain to catch up, “W-What are you _doing_ here? I-I…”

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, backing away toward the fence, “I—I shouldn’t have come back—“

“No!” Marco reaches out toward her, one hand still on Matty. There is nothing but desperation in his voice, and it tugs her forward, “Don’t _leave_ again!”

Star stands in the backyard, wringing her hands, staring at her old best friend. She feels fourteen again, wrecked with emotion, desperate to avoid her problems. Marco swims before her, a grown man and her teenage boy flickering between each other. She focuses on him now, reminds herself of her identity, of all the space between them that she can never gain back.

“What’s’a matter?” Matty asks, staring up at his father, “Am I in trouble?”

Marco blinks and looks down at Matty, “What? No, no…Daddy’s just…surprised. Star’s an old friend, buddy—my best friend.”

Star bites her lip to keep a sob at bay, and Marco looks back at her, “Please don’t leave,” he repeats, “Come inside.”

“We have cookies!” Matty nods, leaning back from Marco and waving toward Star.

She glances at his son, this beautiful boy, and back at him, her Marco. Star has faced countless enemies, unlocked ancient power within herself, but nothing quite scares her as much as taking a step forward does.

She takes it anyway, because even if she is fourteen again, she is still Star Butterfly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have y'all seen that "i know those eyes/this man is dead" animatic on youtube damn


	5. you don't need this, you don't need me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> marco catches star before she escapes their house

Star’s words ricochet inside his mind, confusing him, stunning him. “I…I-I, uh…” She’s leaving? She _likes_ him? Why would she like _him?_ Wait, she’s _leaving?_

Tears are beginning to stream down her face as she looks at him, her eyes wide and vulnerable. “Goodbye!” She chokes, backing away, “Goodbye everyone!”

She turns and runs, and his mind finally catches up to him, “Star, wait! What do you mean you’re leaving?”

Marco chases after her, taking the steps two at a time, just managing to grab her arm as she throws open the door to her room. He catches sight of a pulsing blue portal just beyond her, but he forces his eyes to hers. “Marco,” she sniffles brokenly, “let me go.”

“No,” The word comes out with a pant as he clutches her arm, “Star, w-what’s going on?”

She glances away from him, her hand moving to rest over his on her other arm. “I…I have to go. I-I’m sorry.”

His heart is pounding, from running up the stairs and her confession and the idea of her leaving. There’s a slow ache in his chest as her earlier words sink in, as he watches her try to control her tears. “Are…” his voice is quiet, hurt, “…are you leaving b-because of… _me?”_

A small gasp escapes her, her face softening, but he can see a resolve forming in her eyes. It terrifies him, and he steps closer, “S-Star…?”

The resolve crumbles as she looks up at him, her lip trembling, “T-Toffee’s back.”

Marco can feel the color drain from his face, a weight dropping into his gut, “L-Like _back-_ back?”

“I-I don’t know,” Star sighs, her brows pulling together, “I just…I have to go.” Her hand slips away, making his skin tingle as she brushes across it.

“No,” he repeats, his voice desperate as he tightens her grip on his arm, “You can’t go alone!”

Star gives him a sad look, jerking her chin back toward that pulsing portal, “My mom’s waiting for me. _Goodbye_ , Marco.” She tries to step away, refusing to look him in the eyes.

His heart is still pounding, his mind racing as he tries to reconcile everything that’s come at him, “I…I’m coming with you!”

Star’s eyes snap to his, already shaking her head, her voice coarse but firm, “No, no, no, no, no, no—“

“Star, it’s _Toffee,”_ He steps closer to her, his voice low as he tries to convince her. One of his arms is still on her arm, and he brings the other up to her shoulder. Her eyes flick toward it, but then she shrugs out of both grips.

“Exactly,” her voice is stronger now, the tears drying on her cheeks, “It’s Toffee—and he almost killed you. You’re not going anywhere near him.”

“I won’t let you try to do this stupid hero sacrifice thing,” Marco says defiantly, and the attitude shifts between them. That awkward, _weird_ feeling has dissipated in the wake of their argument-- an unpleasant familiarity, but not entirely unwelcome. Marco won’t let his best friend go without a fight, especially if things had been off with them lately. “It’s not safe for either of us, but it’s even _more_ dangerous if there’s only one of us!”

Star’s eyes widen as she splutters, “H-Hero—ugh, just let me do this, Marco! Go back downstairs with _Jackie_ and have your _summer_ thing with her and just forget about me!”

Marco’s face falls, stung and confused, “Star…you’re my best friend. I could never just _f-forget_ about you, I mean, what…do you really think I would j-just let you…disappear forever?”

Star’s breath catches, tears welling in her eyes again, “…I’ve done a lot of damage in your life—it’s like I can’t go two feet without messing something up these days. Y-You’re better off here…without me.”

“That’s not _true!_ ” Marco says as his voice breaks, stepping forward and pulling her into a tight embrace. “I-I’m sorry…if I did something to m-make you feel like that, I’m so sorry.”

Star doesn’t respond at first, but then her arms wrap just as tightly around him, and she’s choked up when she speaks, “I’m sorry too.”

They pull apart when Moon clears her throat, standing behind Star, “Time is of the essence, dear. It’s not safe here anymore.” She’s probably heard everything, but she says nothing more.

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” Star nods, wiping away her tears. She looks back at Marco hesitantly, “Are…are you sure?”

For a moment, the Safe Kid in him makes him hesitate, but he nods despite it. This is his best friend, Star Butterfly, the best girl he knows, and she needs his help. There’s no way he’s staying behind. Grasping her hand, ignoring the implications, he follows Moon forward. He can hear someone coming up the stairs behind him, but he’s already halfway through the portal.

The room disappears behind them, taking all traces of Star Butterfly’s presence on Earth with them. When Jackie and Janna reach the top step, they find an empty room, both Marco and Star missing. 


	6. it was no secret, the way that we feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from Hunter81095: I'd like to request something for your Saudade one shot series. A Bobo AU where Marco turns down Jackie because he's going to the dance with Star, and Star does the same to Janna. Preferably end in Starco.

When Jackie approaches him, his thoughts scatter and he makes an embarrassing wheezing noise, squeezing out, “Oh, h-hey, Jackie.”

“Hey, Marco,” She smiles at him, her voice so smooth and rich, “I was, um, wondering if you had a date to the dance?”

Marco’s brain truly short circuits. She’s asking him to the _dance?_ Isn’t that how people ask each other out? Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, “W-What? _Why?_ I-I mean—“

He’s panicking and she knows it, but she’s still smiling at him. She tucks some hair behind her ear, “Well…I was wondering if you’d like to go with… _me?”_ Jackie’s voice is a little higher on the last word, and she’s looking at him from under her eyelashes. Marco’s chest flutters, and he’s about to say yes, but then what she’s asking really sinks in. She wants to go with him to the dance, the dance he’d been so worried about going to—

Oh.

Marco frowns, glancing back at Star. She’s talking with Janna across the room, smiling and nodding along to whatever Janna is saying. He’d told her about how afraid of going to the dance alone he was, and she’d agreed to go with him immediately. It had been a huge relief, and he’d never expected that Jackie would want to go with him.

He almost says yes, sure that Star would understand because she is the best friend he’s ever had. But he can perfectly picture spending the whole dance worrying and fretting and making a fool of himself in front of Jackie, too caught up in his own head. It wouldn’t be like that with Star—no matter what situation they were in, they could make the best of it. She loves dancing and she’d been so excited…the guilt he would feel even if she understood isn’t worth it.

Marco swallows, turning back to Jackie, “Uh, a-actually, I was already planning to—to go with Star. I didn’t think—just, uh, sorry, Jackie.”

“Oh,” Jackie blinks, visibly surprised. “Um, that’s cool, dude. I hope you guys have…fun.”

Marco can feel the red spreading rapidly across his cheeks, and he wishes he could just sink into the ground. “Uh, t-thanks.”

Jackie walks away just as Star bounds over to him, and he turns to her, his eyebrows approaching his hairline and his lips smushed together in what seems like a grimace. “Marco! What…what’s up?” Star asks carefully, taking in his messed up face.

“Jackie just asked me to the dance,” he says through his teeth, still unsure how he feels about the whole thing.

“What!” Star’s eyes go wide, “That’s—oh my God! What did you say?”

The heat is returning to his face, although Jackie’s long gone by now. He’s annoyed by the nervousness that pulses in his gut when he answers Star, “I…said no. I already agreed to go with you.” Marco offers her a little half smile, his shoulders shifting almost enough to shrug.

“Marco!” Star gasps, and he swears he can see the lightest shade of pink dusting her cheeks, but maybe it’s just her hearts. “You didn’t have to do that! I mean, I did tell Janna I couldn’t go to her séance thing because we were going to the dance, but…I can just go with her instead and you can go with Jackie.”

Marco’s face softens, touched even though he knew she would be supportive anyway. It’s not the first time he wonders how he’s lucky enough to be her best friend. Star can make even scary things fun, and he’s completely sure now that he wants to go to the dance with her. She’s never been to one on Earth, and they both deserve to have a little stress-free, safe fun. “It’s okay, Star. I wanna go with you.”

“Are you sure?” She asks, unable to hide her excitement even if her voice is softer.

“Absolutely!” He declares, looping his arm through hers, “Come on, let’s finish decorating!”

* * *

 

Marco’s seen Star all dressed up before, but she takes his breath away when she steps out of her room. Her dress is a soft periwinkle under the layers of chiffon, and when she steps into the light, the skirt begins to sparkle like tiny stars are embedded in the fabric. Only half of her hair is up this time, the rest lying gently curled over her shoulders. “Y-You look great!” Marco says, stammering as he tries to clear out the fog in his brain, confused about why he’s so caught up by her.

Star doesn’t seem to notice, staring at him with her own dreamy look, “W-What? Oh! You too!”

They’re both blushing as they descend the stairs, but neither of them mention it. After a few minutes of his parents excitedly taking pictures, they make their way to the dance, an almost uncomfortable silence between them.

The borderline _weird_ feeling dissipates when they step foot in the repurposed gym, as Star’s eyes light up and Marco has the urge to plant his feet firmly in the ground. Even though he’s not exactly bad at dancing, he’s still terrified of making a fool of himself. Star doesn’t seem to notice, tugging on his hand, “Look how pretty this all looks!”

The gym is a little shabby, and people don’t seem to be having the time of their lives, Skullnick lurking in the shadows, waiting to reprimand people. But Star is looking at it and seeing something beautiful, and that’s what gives him the strength to push down his fear. Star leads him to the dance floor immediately, moving her body to the beat of the music, “Come on! Dance!”

Star’s always been the better dancer, and Marco spends the first song awkwardly swaying, aware of the other people’s eyes on the two of them. Star’s skirt is shaking with her movement, sending cascade of light glittering in all directions. She doesn’t care about the people staring at her, and the thought that she’s beautiful suddenly strikes Marco.

“I know you can do better than that!” Star laughs, reaching out to grab his hands and twirl him. He lets her pull him in, a softness to his attitude that he doesn’t care to identify. They both dance and laugh through the next song, eventually drawing disinterested people in to dance as well.

When the peppy song comes to a close, Marco pulls away from Star, shouting, “I’m gonna get a drink! Do you want one?”

Star nods, biting her lip and letting her eyes fall to a close as she continues to dance. Marco can’t help but watch for a moment, before blinking, realizing that he’s staring. He hurries off to get some punch, but changes his mind when he sees its sickly color. He’s just making his way back to Star when he hears the familiar opening notes of their second favorite Love Sentence song.

Star’s eyes snap open, meeting his from a few feet away, practically buzzing with excitement, “Marco!”

“I know!” His voice is almost as high as hers as he rushes to her side to keep in time with the song. This dance is well practiced between them, and Star’s mouth is already singing the opening words. Marco joins in, letting the words soak into his chest as he follows her lead, grabbing her hand as they move together.

_It’s no secret, the love that we feel, a love that’s so pure, a love that’s so real…_

They’re subconsciously moving closer, their faces close as they sing the song together. They’re both sweating from dancing so much, and time feels a little slow as Marco smiles at her when they take a breath before the next lines.

_You showed me your world, and it felt like a sign…_

The words really sink into Marco, and suddenly they’re so close, and then they’re kissing. It’s not exactly magical, but her lips are soft and moving against his and it feels like everything around him has faded away. He’s not sure who pulls away first, but both of their eyes are half-lidded, glassy. Marco’s heart is starting to pound, because oh my God, that happened, oh crap—

Star offers him a nervous smile and seeing it makes him feel better somehow, because she’s nervous too. “Marco,” she murmurs, but adds nothing else. It still manages to sound like a question, filled with everything he wants to ask as well.

“Star,” he answers softly, and there’s no misunderstanding. Marco is vaguely aware of the song changing, of Skullnick stomping over to them, but he can’t care because Star is leaning toward him again, and there is no hesitation when he leans toward her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have two other prompts right now, but i had to do this one to switch things up a little bit. some actual starco for once!! 
> 
> also, if you're going to leave me a prompt, do not be afraid to be specific!! it actually really helps, because the more vague you are, the less i know about what you want!!


	7. there was a time when you let me know, what's really going on below

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from Anonymous: for your "saudade" series, maybe marco finally catches up to star, years (decades?) later on mewni and finds out what's she's been up to?

She’s gone for ten years. He spends three of them searching for her, scissoring into dimensions he doesn’t belong in. There is no luck, and his hope fades with each passing trip. Tom has blocked his number, Pony Head stopped answering his calls a long time ago, and he’s trapped on Earth with the little knowledge he has of Star’s past. On his last trip, his hope had spiked to dangerous levels when he caught sight of a familiar horned-woman. He’d caught her fairly easily, experienced in chasing her, and he’d begged her to take him to Star.

Hekapoo had looked down at him with pity, “Things are the way they are for a reason. Just give up—it’ll make your life a lot easier.”

Marco had refused.

She’d dumped him back on Earth and disabled his scissors.

He’d been angry and hurt and afraid and guilty and then eventually, he was numb. Star wasn’t coming back—not after all those years, not after all the time he’d spent chasing after her. Part of him was afraid that she had died, and a greater part of him is afraid that she was just sick of putting up with him.

Marco’s life went on—his birthdays passed and he graduated and got a degree in counseling, sticking close to Echo Creek. Jackie broke up with him eight months into their relationship, and he understood completely. After he accepted that Star was never returning, he’d had a girlfriend for a short time in college, but the relationship didn’t last very long. Even though years have passed and he’s forgotten how she sounded and he can’t remember if her eyes were green or blue, Star is still in the back of his mind. He tries not to dwell on her, taking over for Brantley at the dojo on weekends and throwing himself into his work. There are weeks when he doesn’t think about her, about magic, but then he’ll see the old Mrs. Skullnick in the halls or he’ll see a flash of some girl’s blonde hair. The days where he thinks it’s her have long passed, but it still makes his chest ache.

They didn’t even get a proper goodbye.  

Ten years without a word, and then suddenly there’s a crisp blue letter sitting on his bed.

He doesn’t notice it at first, tired from his day of dealing with misguided teenagers. It’s only when he drops onto his bed that he hears the crinkle of paper and feels it under his stomach. He jumps back, startled, confused when he only sees the letter.

Marco’s heart squeezes painfully at the familiar handwriting on the face of it, shaking his head as tears well in his eyes. Not after all this time. Not after all the work he’s gone through to put those days behind him. She can’t just _come back_ after ten years. But he desperately wants her to, and even though he’s hurt and a little angry, he’s relieved.

His fingers shake as he opens the letter, his eyes scanning frantically over it.

_I hope this letter finds you well. I know it’s been a long time, and I don’t blame you if you don’t want to see me. Or hear from me. But I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I just need you to know that, if nothing else. On the slim chance that you can stand me, I’d like to invite you to Mewni. It’s very different than what you may remember, but I can’t come to Earth, unfortunately, so it’s the only way we can see each other. If you want to. If you want to, just sign your name below. It will take you here. _

_I’m sorry,_

_Star_

There’s a space under her signature that seems like it’s a different texture than the rest of the paper—the place where he’s supposed to sign if he wants to go. To go see Star. After ten years. With a hysterical laugh, he falls back, his hand snaking its way into his hair as he begins to cry. She’s alive, she’s alive but she’s been gone for ten fucking years, why _now?_ He doesn’t know what to think, and he spends what must be an hour crying and laughing, the letter clutched in his hands.

Marco wipes his tears away finally, and stands, striding over to his desk. His fingers are shaking as he signs his name, the ink beginning to glow as his feet start to tingle.

He blinks and suddenly he’s standing in a large, polished room, swathed in moonlight by floor to ceiling windows. It looks a little changed, tapestries he’s never seen before hanging on the walls where there’s space, but he recognizes the room. It’s the throne room that acts as a foyer, but there isn’t a throne where two had once sat.

There is a girl with a mop that gasps when she sees him, skittering backward, “Guards! Guards!”

“Wait, wait, wait, no!” Marco puts his hands up, “I—I was sent for by S-Star!”

The girl peers at him, and guards are beginning to enter, their weapons raised. One of them, a beefy bull man growls, “Intruder! Don’t move!”

“No!” Marco squeaks, “L-Look, where’s Star? She sent for me?”

The guards don’t look like they believe him, but there is a broad armored being pushing his way from the back. Marco’s face twists in confusion and recognition as he looks upon Buff Frog, who recognizes him at the same time. “You kidding me?” Buff Frog booms to other guards, “This is Karate Boy! Weapons down!”

The other guards obey immediately, and Marco has quite possibly never been so perplexed in his life. The guards seem like a mixture of monster and Mewman, and why is Buff Frog in the castle? Where the hell is Star?

Buff Frog steps forward, reaching out to put a webbed hand on Marco’s shoulder, “Is good to see you! I will take you to Queen Star!”

Marco is too shocked to resist as Buff Frog leads him away, down a hallway. She’s really _Queen of Mewni_ now? What has he missed? Is there a King of Mewni, an heir? Where are her parents? Does she miss him? She must, right? Why else would she send for him after all this time?

Buff Frog stops in front of a large wooden door, knocking loudly on it. He hears some scrambling from the other side of it, a weak, “Coming!” muffled through the other side. His heart is pounding.

The door opens a crack, a beautiful face with pink hearts on the cheeks peeking out. An involuntary gasp escapes Marco, his chest fluttering, because oh, god, she’s okay and she’s in front of him after _ten years._ Star’s eyes meet his and he can see the shock in hers as the door falls the rest of the way open. Her hair is shoulder-length, her face more adult, and she’s grown a few inches, but she’s still _Star._

“S-Star…?” He stutters, his lip trembling as he’s overcome with emotion.

“Marco,” she whispers, bringing her fingers to her lips, “I…It’s—It’s so good to see you.”

“Star,” he repeats, stepping closer, and there’s no hesitation when she closes the distance, flinging her arms around him as he pulls her close. He hasn’t hugged her in ten years, but it’s still wonderfully familiar. “You’re okay,” he croaks, reaching to pet her hair, “You’re alive.”

“I’m sorry,” her own voice is weak, “I’m so sorry.”

“W-Why did you _leave?”_ Marco begs, “And then you never came back…I thought you were dead, Star.”

Star pulls back, tears in her eyes, “C-Come in. I’ll tell you everything, if you want to hear it.”

“I will return to bed,” Buff Frog steps away, “Call if you need anything.”

“Yes, yes,” Star nods, taking Marco’s arm and pulling him into her room. It’s different than the one she had at his house, only one floor and carefully decorated with what look like hunting trophies encased in crystals. Marco’s finding it hard to organize his thoughts, to gather what he’s feeling, what he wants to say. He’d given up on ever speaking to her again a long time ago. “Um, sit,” she gestures to the bed, “if you want to.”

Marco nods, not trusting his voice. Star sits across from him, crossing her legs and biting her lip, fidgeting with her fingers, “I, uh, I sent that letter this morning. I didn’t think you wanted to come back.”

Marco swallows, forcing past the lump in his throat, “I didn’t get home until late. Um, Star…it’s been ten years.”

“I know,” her eyes squeeze shut for a second, “I know, I know, but…I missed you so much and things…things finally seem safe.”

“What…” Marco shakes his head, “What _wasn’t_ safe?”

“Well…” Star won’t meet his eyes, “Toffee returned. That night…the night I left, my mother was waiting in my room and she told me, so I ran…I ran downstairs to say goodbye. And, well.”

“It wasn’t a goodbye,” Marco blurts before he can stop himself, “You just took off. I was so _worried_ about you—and wait, _Toffee_ came back? Star, I—you should have told me!”

Star’s eyes rise to his, and she offers him a small smile, “I had to keep you safe, Marco.”

“How was I supposed to keep _you_ safe?” Marco asks, his voice unsteady.

“Marco…” she looks hurt, “I…it’s too late now. Toffee is destroyed, and so are all of his stupid followers. I can’t…I would’ve done anything to keep him from succeeding—and I did.”

Marco hangs his head, staying quiet for a few moments. Finally he asks, “So you’re a queen now?”

Star’s eyes widen, “Um, kind of. My—My parents stepped down after Toffee…after Toffee to hunt down the remaining threats. I had to take the throne as…” she lowers her voice and speaks quickly, “as the current most powerful Butterfly.”

“Okay…” Marco pretends he understands, “but what’s with all the monsters?”

“I…” Star takes a deep breath and smiles at him, “I unified the kingdoms. There is a council now, that rules over this land. It’s been hard, but…it’s the right thing.”

“Wow…” Marco sighs, “You’ve, uh, been up to a lot.”

“I guess…” she says quietly, tucking a short piece of hair behind her ear, “I know…I know it’s been a long time. I know you probably can’t forgive me. But…I’ll never, never forget our friendship. I don’t want to.”

Marco swallows again, his voice coarse, “I don’t want to either.”

“Okay,” she says, and tears are welling in her eyes, “Will you stay? Let me show you around tomorrow?”

Marco nods, a shaky smile on his face, “I’m not going anywhere.” Star pulls him in for another hug, and for the first time in ten years, everything feels right again.


	8. there are moments that the words don't reach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: a prompt for saudade: marco discovers somehow that toffee's back after star left and get worried sick about her (if you're up for the angst train, he may discover through pony head, tom or whoever that she died in the final battle but defeat toffee)

There is a sinking feeling in his stomach as he watches her magic slip away from him, and for a few minutes he just stands there in stunned silence. His mind is still reeling from her confession, still trying to reconcile the fact that her room was here and now it’s _not,_ just like her. Footsteps are thundering up the stairs after him, but he can’t look away from the hole in the ceiling. There has never been a hole in the roof before—it had been whole before Star and Star had filled the hole she blasted through it.

Now it’s empty.

Marco drops to his knees, his heart pounding and anxiety carding through his insides. Star is _gone,_ she took her room, there’s no trace of her _left—_

“Marco?” It’s Jackie, stepping into his view and crouching down to meet his eyes, “Where’s Star?”

Marco blinks, opening his mouth though his words are impeded. Grief is crawling up his throat, pushing anything but tears down. Why did she leave? Was it because of _him?_ Because he couldn’t respond, because he’d been so weird about her song day? Was there something else? Why wouldn’t she _tell_ him? “I-I-I—“

Angie approaches, laying her hand on Marco’s shoulder, “Honey…what happened?”

Marco looks up, a few tears boiling over and skimming down his cheeks. “M-Mom, s-she’s _gone.”_

Angie frowns, sympathetic as she leans down to hug him, “I’m sorry, Marco.”

The words mean nothing to him. Sorry isn’t bringing her back, and neither is sitting on the ground crying about it. Marco shakes his head, trying to clear it as he stands shakily. He needs to get to her, wherever she is—the scissors! Marco shrugs out from under his mother’s grip, pushing past her to get to his room. The grief is still there, still pulling at him, begging him to keep thinking about how quickly she left, how hurried of a goodbye it had been, how she said she may never come back to Earth.

Marco’s scissors are carefully placed in their spot on his nightstand, and he silently thanks whoever’s out there that they didn’t disappear with her. Hope begins to prickle at the back of his neck, almost uncomfortably, as he violently jabs the air with the blades.

He knows how they work—having used Hekapoo’s a countless number of times before he earned his own. The destination was a thought that was channeled through the blades—there was no mispronouncing it or messing it up if you knew the place. The sound of screeching metal pierces the air as the blades have no effect, sparking as they collide with something invisible. “Wait, what? No, no, no…”  His voice is high and desperate as he tries again, thinking hard of Mewni, and again of the castle, and again of the Forest of Certain Death, but nothing works. For a moment he panics, thinking the scissors are broken, but when he thinks of the bounce lounge, the scissors cut neatly and easily through reality.

A new kind of dread sinks into him as he pictures his best friend, Star freaking Butterfly, smiling and beautiful and brave, and the air in front of him remains unchanged. Bile churns in his stomach and the scissors clatter to the ground as he begins to hyperventilate. Star is gone and he has no way of getting to her. What could have possibly warranted such a quick escape?

That tugging, swirling feeling in his gut escalates, sinking claws into his chest and dragging itself up, making it harder and harder to breathe. In a few short minutes, his world has completely changed.

He doesn’t know how much time passes before his room is filled with people asking where Star is, why is he crying, what happened? He doesn’t answer any of them, just grabs his wallet and his phone and the scissors and walks out the door.

Marco isn’t sure where his feet are taking him until he’s standing under the sign for the graveyard. This is where Star had almost been lost, where Ludo had stolen her book and Glossaryck. It was the night Jackie had kissed him. It was the night where he thought he’d seen the blood moon—the trigger that had caused him to look at his cell phone and see all those missed calls.

That had terrified him. Seeing Star fighting Ludo, hearing her tell Marco to let her go, to save himself—that was terrifying too. Marco doesn’t know why he’s here, why he thought maybe the past could reunite them. All he’s reminded of are the unsettling messages—wait!

Marco pulls out his phone, scrambling and almost dropping it as he hurries to her contact. His heart is beating hard again, the only sound aside from the monotonous ringing. “You’ve reached Staaar Butterfly! Leave a message at the beeep!” The voicemail ends with her breaking into giggles, and Marco’s feels like a chasm has opened in his chest, leaving his heart open and exposed and throbbing. He dials again, but it goes straight to voicemail.

Marco can’t stop the small, hurt, “No…” from escaping him.

The world is quiet around him, something he hasn’t been accustomed to since she came crashing into his life. He bites his lip as another idea sparks to life, scrolling through his contacts to Tom’s name.

Tom picks up on the fourth ring, right when Marco is about to hang up, “Well, well, well…what can I do for you, Marco?”

“Where is Star?” He grits, trying to keep his voice from leaving him, “What’s going on with Mewni?”

“With Mewni?” Tom sounds a little surprised, off-put, “Uh, you know more than I do probably. Is something—is Star okay?”

“She—“ Marco’s voice catches, “She left Earth. I-I don’t know why, but I’m really worried.”

Tom sighs from the other end, “Let me see what I can find out.”

“Okay,” Marco says quietly. After a beat, he murmurs, “Thank you, Tom.”

Tom takes a moment to reply, but his voice sounds different when he does, “You're welcome.”

 

Marco doesn’t hear anything for two days. School’s out, so he has nothing to distract him. Jackie came by the first day, but Marco wasn’t very good company. He spent the day stress-eating, watching old episodes of Fiesta de la Noche until he fell asleep on the couch, curled up under the friendship snuggly. It still smells like her, and a little bit like Pony Head, who he hasn’t seen since Star’s confession.

Tom texts him the next day:

_mewni is under lockdown. bad guy named toffey or smth after magic?? idk shiz goin down tho_

As much as Marco had been terrified before, it;s nothing compared to what he’s feeling now. _Toffee_ is back, Toffee who almost _killed_ him, who had made Star blow up her wand! Why wouldn’t she have told him? Why would she have just left him here?

There is nothing in this world that he would not stand by her for, no matter how out of sync they’d been the past few weeks. Toffee is too dangerous to take on alone, too smart to be easily outwitted.

A devastating thought occurs to Marco; she did leave because of him—because she wanted to keep him safe. Marco almost laughs out loud, because what does his safety matter if she’s right in the line of fire? He knows her—she’ll do anything she can to take Toffee down. She’d bent reality just to get to Glossaryck.

Marco pulls out his scissors, trying fruitlessly to get to Mewni again. There is no give in the fabric of reality, the screeching metal making the hair on the back of his neck stand up. He has nothing to do but sit and wait for it to give, thinking about all the ways that Toffee could be hurting Star or her family. It makes him sick to his stomach when he thinks about it, and eventually he falls into a restless nap with nothing else to focus on.

When he comes back to consciousness, he is painted red with moonlight through his window. His heart sinks into his stomach—last time, Star had been in serious danger. Now he knows that she is, that Toffee is involved, that he has no way to help her. Marco tries desperately to use the scissors, crying out when he still can’t get through. He tosses the blades away, letting them clatter against his desk. They knock over the picture frame on it with the picture of Star and Marco from their last camping trip. He lets out a shaky breath as he approaches it, taking it in his hands and staring.

They look so happy.

They’re together.

The tears burn at the back of his eyes, and he does nothing to stop them. He crawls into his bed, taking the picture with him, curling around it. He faces the window so he has a clear view of the blood moon, unwavering in the night.

The blood moon is there all through the next day, unmoving as Marco does the same. He’s taken to poring over his phone, scrolling through selfies and their short text message history. They’d never really made much use of texting, since they were never really far from each other. There is a constant ache as he worries for her safety, as he thinks about all the time they could’ve had. They could have worked out her crush on him—she was a princess and she deserved a lot better than some kid on Earth, she would have seen that.

It feels like it’s too late now, and that only makes him cry harder.

The blood moon is gone when he wakes up in the middle of the next night, having fallen into a fitful sleep after putting it off for too long. He scrambles out of bed, pulling out his phone to see he has one new message from Tom.

_go to mewni._

Marco blinks the sleep out of his eyes, grabbing the scissors and almost crying with relief when they slice cleanly through the air. He stumbles through, eyes wide as finds himself in the middle of the throne room. There are people everywhere, all dressed in various shades of blue. He locks eyes with the Star’s mother, who’s hair is long and tangled and messy. She looks like she’s been crying, and she’s wearing some kind of armor Marco has never seen.

His voice is hoarse as he croaks, “Where is Star?”

“Marco…?” The Queen’s voice is coarse as well, and she looks so confused. Marco steps toward her, desperate.

“Where is she?” He asks again, eyes darting around like she’ll pop out at any moment.

The Queen’s face collapses, tears spilling down her cheeks, “Oh, M-Marco…she…”

“No, no, _no…”_ Marco’s voice breaks, unwilling to accept what her mother is implying, _“Where is she?”_

“S-She was so brave,” The Queen’s voice is broken, warped by her grief, “I tried…I tried to protect her, but I _f-failed._ Star is _dead!”_ Her voice rises as she speaks, sobbing as she stumbles closer to Marco. She clutches his sweatshirt as he looks up at her, tears welling in his own eyes.

“She can’t be,” he says, his voice thick, “We didn’t get to say goodbye. She _can’t_ be!”

“She p-protected us all,” Moon sobs, letting her tears fall uninhibited, “She _killed_ that monster, she d-destroyed him.”

Marco wrenches out of her grip, his heart pounding. It feels like he’s fallen through solid ground, a swooping sensation in his gut as fights against the reality that his best friend is dead. “It—It doesn’t matter if he’s dead!” Marco knows he’s drawing eyes, but he can’t help the words falling from his lips as he shakes his head, “She needs to be okay!”

Moon swallows, her face and voice hardening as she speaks, “I would trade my life for hers in a _second.”_

Marco’s face crumples at that, the sharp fingers of grief reaching into his chest and carving through his heart. He will never see her smiling face again, he will never hear her laugh, he will never be able to hug her close again. He will never get to say goodbye. A sob is torn from his chest, as he falls to his knees in the middle of this crowded room.

Marco is gasping for breath as he thinks of his best friend in all of the dimensions sacrificing herself to keep the ones she loves safe.

_I’m a magical princess from another dimension!_

_I don’t need a hero, I need a friend._

_All that matters is that we have each other’s back._

_Marco, you’re my friend. And I just wanna have an awesome summer with you._

_Marco, we need to talk **. Just one last time.** _

_I do have a crush on you. I didn't want to admit it because I know you don't feel the same way, and I thought if I just pretended the feelings weren't there, they'd go away. But they haven't. I have to leave Earth, probably forever, and I couldn't go without telling you the truth._

“I’m sorry, Star,” Marco gasps through his tears, “I’m so, _so_ sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alternative titles: you knock me out, i fall apart or its a cold and its a broken hallelujah


	9. cause i'd say i was wrong just to make it fill all the spaces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from theoneandonly1993: I would love to do a request! How about something typical, but heartfelt - Established Starco, only one month into their relationship, post-season 3 premiere. Ever since their climactic battle with Toffee and her and Marco finding one another, Star has been more aware of Marco's safety and vulnerability, to the point where she starts to unexplainably avoid him in some weird way to keep him safe. It of course reaches a point where he confronts her, they argue, and Star's fears come to light.

It feels like it’s been forever since they defeated Toffee. In reality, it’s only been just over a month—one month since Marco found Star, since they shared their first kiss, since he broke his arm. They’re lucky that’s the worst of the physical damage Toffee was able to inflict on them, and Star is able to put it out of her mind enough to enjoy her new relationship with Marco for the first few weeks.

Their relationship is easy, comfortable because of all the time they spent as best friends. They still spend most of their time together like they used to, hanging out and watching telenovelas and or finding relatively safe earth misadventures, only now they can kiss and hold hands and do all that mushy stuff. Marco can’t do as much action as he could before, his right arm nestled safely in a sling, so they never do anything too crazy. They’ve both agreed that they need a break after Toffee to just have fun and be teenagers.

That mindset works alright for the first week or so of their summer vacation, but Star can feel the uncertainty creeping into her heart. Every time they have to go slow so that Marco can work around his broken arm, she sees Toffee sending him smacking into a stone wall, letting him drop ten feet onto the ground with a sick crack. She had left Earth to protect Marco, but he had gotten hurt anyway, because he had come after her.

Little seeds of her self-doubt sow themselves into her, sinking their roots into her chest in a familiar way. It’s reminiscent of how she felt after Ludo had stolen the book of spells and she just seemed to make mistake after mistake. She hasn’t forgotten those feelings even though she’s been so happy with Marco, and they’re beginning to resurface the more time she has to think about what happened with Toffee.

She snaps one morning when Marco asks her to help him with his Sugar-O’s. He can’t quite pour the milk, so she takes the jug and tips it a bit too far. Trying to correct her mistake, she shoots her other hand forward without thinking, tipping the bowl over onto Marco when her palm catches the lip. It knocks against his arm and he hisses in pain as her hands shoot up to her mouth, “Oh! I—crud, I’m sorry!” She grabs some paper towels to soak up some of the spilled milk, fighting back tears.

She didn’t mean to, but she hurt his arm—the arm that was broken _because_ of her.

Marco must be able to tell she’s upset, because he puts his good hand on her arm, “Hey, it’s okay. I can wash the clothes.”

“I’m sorry,” Her voice isn’t louder than a whisper, afraid that it’ll shake if she speaks any longer.

“Star,” he leans closer to her, his brow furrowed, “I’m fine. No use, uh, crying over spilled milk, heh.” He kisses her on the cheek, which heats under his touch, “I’m gonna go get some new clothes.”

“Okay,” she nods softly, gathering the sopping paper towels. She can’t stop thinking about how he broke his arm—about all the hurt she’s caused him since she came to this dimension.

It isn’t really a conscious decision to avoid him at first. Every time they hold hands, she feels guilty when he needs to pull it from her grasp to do something because he doesn’t have his other one. She’s extremely careful and hesitant around him, terrified that she will hurt him further.

She starts to spend even more time with Janna, because at least that way she doesn’t have to resist the urge to touch him. What had once been easy and comfortable is now awkward, stunted. Marco never says anything directly, but she can tell he’s always watching her out of the corner of his eyes and she sees the frowns that mar his face when he thinks she can’t see.

She starts to have nightmares that he is dying—sometimes by Toffee, sometimes by her, sometimes by some past experience. She loses sleep, but she’ll take dark circles over watching her boyfriend die any time.

They’re spending a Friday night curled up on the couch watching some cheesy horror movie. Star tries to keep some distance between them, but Marco puts his arm around her and she doesn’t have the energy to resist sinking into his side. She misses being able to love him freely, without worrying about any little thing she does. Before she realizes it, she’s falling asleep, curling further into his side and clutching his sweatshirt.

When she wakes up, they’re still on the couch. Marco had shifted them so he was half on the couch, laying propped up on his back while his feet were draped off the side, Star still half on top of him with her legs nestled beneath her but prone. His good arm is resting on her back, his chest slowly rising and falling as he sleeps.

It’s so intimate and comforting and for once she can’t recall a nightmare. But something in her gut makes her feel sick, reminding her that it won’t always be like this, that he’ll probably be hurt again. She sits up suddenly, choking back tears. She doesn’t want to feel like this, but she doesn’t want to leave him either, and she doesn’t know how to fix herself when she’s always made a mess wherever she goes.

Marco starts awake at her movement, blinking in confusion and the hand that had been on her back flexing as if searching for her. “Star…?”

She bites her lip, like maybe he won’t notice how close she is to losing it. But this is Marco, and he’s always been the smart one, “What’s wrong?” he asks, sitting up gingerly.

“N-Nothing,” she answers, but her voice breaks and she winces. She can’t look at him.

Star hears his heavy breath, can picture the frown on his face, “Look…I know something’s up and…I-I want you to be honest, Star, because…because you mean a lot to me. Do…Do you not want to be with me? Did I do something?” His voice is trembling, incredibly nervous but determined.

She thinks the twinge in her chest must be her heart breaking. She thinks about lying or running away from her problems like she always does. Finally, she murmurs brokenly, “Your arm is broken.”

“You…you don’t want to be with me because my _arm_ is broken?” Marco’s voice is pure confusion, and he shifts closer, trying to get her to look at him.

“No!” The dam breaks and her gaze snaps to his, her voice shaky, “Your arm is broken because of me! I can’t…I couldn’t live with myself if something worse had happened—because of _me!”_

“Star!” Marco leans closer, shocked, “Something worse didn’t happen. And I wouldn’t even care if it meant that you were okay! Something worse could have happened to you too!”

“Something worse could still happen!” She insists, tears spilling down her cheeks, “I mess up everything all of the time! We’re not always going to be so lucky!”

“Star,” Marco repeats, reaching up to cup her face with his good hand, “You are the _best_ person I know—and that’s not me speaking as your boyfriend, well, mostly. I knew you were messy and a little chaotic and loud before I ever knew I loved you, and I knew you were brave and fun and _strong_ too. Yeah, sometimes bad stuff happens—that doesn’t mean we don’t get to be happy.”

She covers his hand with her own, turning her face into it, “I can’t lose you.”

Marco softens, his voice gentle when he speaks, “You aren’t going to. I’m going to be by your side until neither of us are standing and not a minute before.” He kisses her forehead, “And besides, Toffee’s gone. We made sure of that. We’re smarter than we were before, and we can be safer. But you need to talk to me—to tell me if something’s up. This…this isn’t going to work otherwise.”

Star nods, closing her eyes and wrapping her arms around his neck, still crying, but not for the same reasons. His arm moves around her, holding her close as he presses his face into her shoulder. “You promise?” She whispers, her voice weak.

“I promise,” he nods.


	10. and i'm not scared of your stolen power

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from Waldorkler: "So, of the alternate timelines briefly shown in Mathmagic, one of them is of Star dressed like Ludo. The basic idea of the AU is sorta based on that. The basic idea is that Ludo and Star’s roles have been switches. Ludo is now a magical prince from another dimension sent to Earth, becoming friends with Marco. Meanwhile, Star’s now a bratty evil princess trying to steal his wand"

At first, Marco hates Ludo—this weird, arrogant chicken-boy who drops into his life in the middle of a mundane school day. When he finds out that Ludo’s going to be staying with them, he goes a little crazy, but it feels like nothing he does is as crazy as a magical space prince from another dimension. After a lot of yelling and little karate, the two come to a sort of agreement. Ludo has to stay on Earth to train with his magic wand, a ridiculous idea that Marco doubts until he actually sees the wand in action, because his castle is too crowded. He’s got forty-nine brothers and sisters, but the wand chose Ludo, much to his father’s chagrin.  “I know I’m…different than what you’re used to, Safe Kid. I’m used to being different,” Ludo sighs, shoulders drooping as they sit together on a park bench, “I’m just asking for a chance.”

Marco softens, about to agree when the air next to him rips open and a teenage girl comes tumbling out. She rights herself quickly, her eyes shooting around until they land on Ludo’s wand—a small skull with wings on either side and spikes crowning the top of it with a purple and black striped hilt.

“Ludo!” She points, shouting at them, her other hand gripping her dark, plain dress. There is some sort of animal skull perched in her hair, it’s horns sharp and pointy. It reminds Marco of a tacky headband available at a local strip-mall, but she pulls it off well. The strangest thing about her is the identical hearts on her cheeks that look almost like they’re melting, but she pays no attention to them. “You really thought you could hide here?”

“Ack!” Ludo yelps, scrambling backwards over the bench, leaving Marco sitting there in confusion, “Don’t let her get the wand—or _me!”_

A blast of yellow energy shoots over the top of the bench, missing the girl and startling Marco. “Whoa! What’s going on?” Marco looks back at the girl, who is laughing almost maniacally. “What’s going on?”

“That’s Star Butterfly!” Ludo screeches, reaching up to tug the hood of Marco’s sweatshirt, forcing his gaze to shift down behind the bench, “She’s crazy! Fight her!”

“I’m not going to fight some random g—“ Marco’s voice dies in his throat as there is a flash of purple light, and suddenly there is a winged creature that almost resembles the girl in Star’s place. She has _six_ arms and unnerving glowing eyes, the hearts on her cheeks pulsing with energy. “Holy—“ Marco forces himself over the bench, landing next to Ludo.

“I told you!” Ludo cries as Star darts toward them. He shoots another spell, desperately, quickly, and it manages to catch her in the shoulder, knocking her off balance.

“Give me my wand!” She cries, and Marco winces at the sound of her voice, a raspy, screeching tone; like she can’t quite breathe. She shoots something purple at Ludo, and Marco reacts before he can think about it, doing his best to deflect it. Ludo gasps, and he begins to cast spells with more vigor, patting Marco’s shoulder.

Together they keep her at bay until she growls in frustration, one of her wings bent and crumpled. In a flash, she is back to the blonde girl who had stumbled through the portal. “Don’t think this is over!” She hisses at Ludo, and then her gaze turns to Marco, “And I won’t forget you either, you--you _Earth Turd_!”

She cuts into the air with jagged scissors and disappears in another flash of light. Marco stands there, stunned, while Ludo cheers, throwing both of his arms up in the air, “Yes! We beat her! You know, I really didn’t think you had it in you, but—“

“Stop!” Marco cuts him off, “Who was she? _What_ was she?”

“Her name is Star Butterfly, like I said,” Ludo’s lip curls as he says her name, as if tastes bad, “Her family’s been trying to steal my family’s magic for ages. The Butterflys are all crazy—ever since that dark witch Eclipsa. They use _dark magic_.” Ludo shudders, and Marco wonders just how crazy his life is going to become. “But it’s all good! She’s gone and you helped! You helped _me!”_

“Well, yeah,” Marco shrugs uncomfortably, “I wasn’t gonna just stand there while she…shot at you?”

“You know,” Ludo begins to lead Marco out of the park, still incredibly giddy, “I’ve had brothers before, but I’ve never had a _best friend_ before!”

Marco’s life changes after that night, and he’s surprised to find that underneath the arrogance and naivety, Ludo is a good friend—his best friend. The more shocking thing is how well Ludo blends into Echo Creek Academy, especially because of his ignorance about anything regarding the human race. He doesn’t understand a lot of things about Earth culture, like why Marco can’t just admit to Jackie that he has a crush on her, and he’s also got this weird thing about hair that Marco doesn’t really understand.

Star returns periodically, and it’s clear after the first few fights that Ludo completely sucks at it. There’s a reason he was sent away to _train_ , besides the overcrowding. The fights become more focused on Star against Marco, with Ludo occasionally landing a spell or two at the right time. Marco finds fighting her _fun_ , which is a huge surprise. It always feels more like a playful rivalry rather than a serious battle for a magic wand. Marco knows that he never really _hurts_ her, and he notices that she pulls her punches when he starts to stumble.

It’s weird, and it’s wild, but Marco likes it.

It’s about seven months into their strange relationship when Star cries out, dropping out of the air and landing with a thud against the ground in her Mewberty form. Marco caught off guard by it, especially when she doesn’t move. He hurries over to her, leaving Ludo frantically flipping through his book of spells, unaware that the fighting has stopped. “Hey! Are you okay?”

When he reaches her, she rolls suddenly, her arms shooting out and grasping him. He gasps in surprise, but laughs a little, “That’s cheap!”

“Awww, does somebody care about little ol’ Star Butterfly?” She teases, and Marco is unsure what’s caused her to be quite so… _light, “_ Got a little crush?”

“What? No!” Marco blushes, even though it’s true. Thanks to Ludo, he’s got a girlfriend, and he tells Star as much, “I-I have a girlfriend!”

“What?” Star’s tone completely shifts, and her grip tightens on him, before her lips press into a hard line and she tosses him away. He does his best to roll into it, but he stumbles a little, confused by what’s happened. She darts after him, relentless.

Star hits him so hard that he knows he’s going to bruise, and it’s never been quite so vicious before, “Hey!”

“Go cry to your girlfriend about it!” She snarls, grappling and then throwing him again. He doesn’t manage to catch himself this time, landing hard on the ground and rolling a few feet.

“Marco!” Ludo cries out, dropping his book of spells. He panics and in his haste, makes up a spell, wholly unexpecting it to do nothing. “Super Cool Blast of Fear!” A jet of purple energy slams straight into Star, so hard that she phases back to her original form as she is pushed far off of the battlefield.

Ludo rushes over to Marco, and together they make it back to his house. Ludo chatters about how cool it was that he'd made up his own spell from his _imagination_ , how worried for Marco he'd been. Marco doesn’t say much, the encounter having left an anxious ball in his stomach. It’s almost like he’s worried about Star, but she’s crazy and she attacks Ludo and she attacked _him_ today. And why had she brought up a crush? It’s confusing, and he isn’t sure how he’s supposed to feel.

When he voices his concerns to Ludo, the chicken only rolls his eyes and sighs, “Humans…”


	11. in this twilight our choices seal our fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "I have a prompt request please!! Set about 3/4 years after the finale (when star/maco are 18 and marco is graduating high school). Star's been gone the entire time, Marco is completely unable to reach her, or anyone else really when suddenly one day he is chilling in the HS courtyard with Jackie when a portal gets rippe open and none other than TOM comes flying out of the portal all upset and frazzled saying that he needs Marco's help because Star is about to make the biggest mistake of her life of agreeing to an arranged marriage with one of the opposing monster nobles (or even Toffee himself) in order to stop the war. Tom proceeds to fill Marco in on all the horrible destruction that has been going on and then begs him to help. and basically begs him to come to mewni and stop it because he thinks that Marco is the only person Star would ever listen to."

He forgets the sound of her voice. It’s been four years, and the only remnant of her left is the small picture on his parent’s wall, where she rests next to all the other foreign exchange students. The picture is only the reason he still knows her eyes were blue, even if it stopped catching his eye a long time ago. Giving up on her had been hard, but necessary. She had disappeared from his life almost as suddenly as she had come into it, taking all traces of her magic, her world, her friendship with her. Marco’s been cut off from any part of her or anything that might have included her since the night she left—even Pony Head and Kelly had disappeared from the party. Without contact from anyone, he’d been worried, frustrated, depressed, guilty, helpless, and then bitter.

So little things about her start to slip away, like if she liked butter or syrup on her pancakes or which class had been her worse. Then bigger chunks break off, crumbling his memory of her until their adventures almost feel like a dream. The only parts of her that remain standing in his memory are blurry, out of focus perceptions of her and the blooming warmth in his chest whenever they had hugged.

The blood moon still harasses him, even four years later, when he’s on the cusp of graduating high school. It’s the only connection he has to her world, and it’s useless, so he’s learned to ignore it. The cascading red moonlight had fallen on him last night, the brightest it had shone in a long time. A distant part of him, the part that was still a fourteen-year-old kid with a magical best friend, had tugged at his gut, like it _meant_ something.

But Star’s been gone for years, never reaching out to him, and some red light can’t change that, so he pushes the feeling away. He rises early in the morning, like usual, getting ready meticulously, alone in his bathroom. The day meanders, with the spring finally pushing in some sunny, warm weather over the overcast clouds that had taken residence in the sky, and he finds himself lounging in the courtyard with Jackie. They’re both only months away from graduation, and he still can’t believe that the girl he’d started school idolizing is now his best friend. Their relationship hadn’t lasted more than a few months, and sometimes he wonders if it was because of the strain of Star’s abrupt departure. Regardless, they make a good pair as friends, even if they don’t _click_ the way he’d first hoped.

Talking to her is easy, almost as easy as it had been with Star, and he has no trouble telling her about the weird dreams he’s been having where he’s always running from something he can’t see, with people he doesn’t know. He’s halfway through his explanation when the ground in front of him erupts into flames.

Everybody around them startles, some letting out yelps of fear. Jackie jerks up from the tree she’d been leaning against, her eyes wide as a figure steps through the flame. Marco’s heart is pounding and it feels like the breath has been pulled from his lungs, but it’s not from fear—not the fear that everybody else is feeling, at least.

The flames die down until they’re licking at Tom’s boots, but he pays them no mind. Marco stands suddenly, his fists clenched at his sides. He’s heard nothing for _four_ years, and now _Tom_ has stepped out of fire to greet him. “Marco…? Who is this?” Jackie asks, her gaze shifting between the two, at the same time that Marco blurts, _“Tom?”_

“Marco!” Tom says, stepping closer when he sees Marco, his voice deeper and more frantic than Marco remembers it ever being. Tom’s still got an inch or two on him, even though they’ve both grown, and he’s wearing some sort of purple velvety suit. For some reason, it shocks Marco that Tom has grown, that time has really passed, that time had not locked away Tom and Star and Pony Head and everything else as soon as she had left. “You need to come with me right now!”

“W-What?” Marco steps back, his knees hitting the stone wall he’d been perched on. He doesn’t know how to feel, what to focus on. He’s angry, because it’s been _four_ years, and he’s relieved, because Tom exists and is _here._ He’s afraid of getting sucked back in.

“Look,” Tom looks frustrated, crossing his arms, “I know it’s been, like, a really long time. I know you don’t have a clue what’s going on, but as much as it pains me to say it, I need your help. _She_ needs your help.”

He doesn’t have to say her name. Marco tries to take another step back, falling backwards onto the stone, staring up at Tom. There are so many words trying to pour out of his mouth that they’re all getting stuck in his throat, and his heartbeat has become thunderous. “I…”

Tom is impatient, stepping into Marco’s space, light seeping into his eyes, “I don’t have a lot of time. There’s—it’s complicated. But she won’t listen to me, and she’s convinced that—that she has t-to take one for the team.” A hand comes up to run through Tom’s pink hair, and Marco starts when he realizes how messy and unkempt it is. “I know she’ll listen to you. Well, I _think_ she will. Star always liked you better.”

Tom drops her name so casually, as if it doesn’t cause a jolt in his stomach that rips something down from his chest. Four impossibly long years. He’d hoped for weeks, cried for months, had nightmares for _years._ How many times had he wished for a chance to see her, to get an explanation, a goodbye at the very _least?_

 _I’m not the same,_ he wants to say, _Losing her wrecked me. I won’t be cast aside again. I won’t be forgotten._ What comes out of his mouth is, “W-What’s going on?”

Tom takes a deep breath, “It’s a long story. The short version is that the two of us have been fighting the monsters for years. Mewni is…Mewni is the domain of the monsters now, and we can’t last much longer and they know it. Star…she leads a small group of Mewmans and rogue monsters—whoever’s left.” Tom grits his teeth, “The monsters want her to marry Toffee—he’s their leader. They say the fighting will stop if she does it, if she _surrenders._ Toffee just wants to control her and—“ Tom’s breath catches, “I think he’s going to kill her once he has her. I’m afraid that once she walks into that castle I’ll never see her again.” Tom’s breathing deeply, the energy in his eyes almost pulsing as he contains his rage.

Marco’s pretty sure his heart stopped beating halfway through Tom’s explanation. Toffee—blown up, evil _Toffee—_ had returned, had stolen the crown? Star was going to _marry_ him? She’d left Marco behind because Toffee had come back, the single most powerful enemy they had? And she didn’t tell him?

If he wasn’t already sitting, his legs would have given out. He can’t stop thinking about all the times he had given up on her, all the times he’d resigned himself to the thought that she had gotten sick of him, when she had been trying to protect him.

It’s Jackie who breaks his reverie. “Marco?” Her voice is soft, and his gaze snaps to hers. He opens his mouth to answer, but no words come out. She crawls over to him, ignoring Tom, taking Marco’s hand. He grips it tightly. “Marco,” she repeats, her voice quiet but firm, “Go get her.”

Something tucked deep inside his chest and just to the left dislodges. A memory creeps forward from a past he’d tried to lock away, and he can hear her voice perfectly, _“I don’t need a hero, I need a friend.”_

Marco stands, his hand falling from Jackie’s. Tom’s face lights up, and he laughs, “I knew she could count on you!”

The words ricochet in Marco’s chest, but he lets them tear through him. Tom takes him by the shoulder, shoving him through the flames. When Marco blinks the blinding light away, he realizes he’s in a forest, the sun just about to set. It’s a brilliant blue and gold that almost makes him choke up, because Mewni hasn’t changed in that regard. Tom steps next to him, pointing to the trees, “Our base is hidden there. She…She doesn’t know I went after you, and I imagine she’s going to be pretty pissed, but…maybe you can change her mind.”

“I…” Marco swallows the lump in his throat, “What if she doesn’t want to see me?”

Tom rolls his eyes, “She wants to see you, trust me. She just doesn’t want you to be here, so close to ground zero.”

Marco just takes a shaky breath, letting Tom lead him into the forest. He stops at a bone white tree with a thick trunk, stomping on one of the roots. The trunk ripples, and Tom pushes Marco forward, the two of them passing through the bark with ease. Inside looks like a dimly lit underground cave that’s bustling with activity, but Marco can’t look any of the people in the eyes. He’s afraid that he’ll see _her,_ even though he came here specifically to do just that.

Tom keeps urging him forward, ignoring all of the people and monsters bustling around as well. They walk to hole in the wall, an entrance to a smaller cave. “Star!” Tom calls when they get close, holding up his arm to stop Marco, “Get your butt out here!”

“Tom?” Marco’s breath catches when he hears her voice, and his fingers twitch, like he’s already reaching out for her, “What are you doing?”

She comes to the edge of the entrance, her brow furrowed in confusion. Marco can feel every emotion he’s felt in the past four years morphing together, rising up his throat and choking him up.

Star looks so different. She’s grown, just like Tom and Marco, probably standing at equal height with Marco now. Her hair is short, brushing her jaw, and her arms are muscled, wrists wrapped with some sort of cloth.

Her eyes are still blue. They widen when she realizes that _he’s_ standing next to Tom, and her jaw drops a little as she steps out of the cave. Marco can’t take his eyes off, can’t believe that this is Star Butterfly, the best friend he’d ever had. The girl who abandoned him to keep him safe.

“M-M…” She can’t seem to get his name out, and his exhale is shaky at her attempt. Her eyes tear away from him, to Tom. “W-Why…? _How?”_

Tom grins, “I knew you needed a voice of reason, boring as he is.”

Star looks back at Marco, tears welling in her eyes, “Mar—I’m sorry—I…”

“Star,” he forces her name past his lips, voice hoarse.

They rush forward at the same time. She wraps her arms around his middle and his fingers clutch the back of her shirt and they’re both crying into each other, hugging as tight as they can. He’s not sure how long they stand there like that, but eventually she pulls away. Marco can’t stop a finger from reaching up to the end of her hair, lightly skimming her face as he does so. Star blinks, her voice unsteady as she murmurs, “It’s easier short.”

“I like it,” he whispers back, still stunned that he gets to hug her, to see her, to hear her after all this time.

She chews on her lip, glancing away for a moment, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Marco takes a deep breath, and everything seems to slot so neatly into place. “I know.”

Star starts crying again, pressing her face into his shoulder. “I-It’s so different,” she laughs through her tears, “We’re the s-same height now.”

“Star,” Marco glances at Tom, who is looking away from them, “Don’t do it.”

She stiffens, but keeps her face hidden. After a pause, her voice is almost cold when she speaks, a tone he has never heard before, “I have to.”

“You don’t,” he says, tucking his own face close to her, “We’ll find another way.”

“It’s too dangerous,” she shakes her head, “I can’t let anybody else get hurt.”

“I’m with you,” Marco murmurs, his voice firm and full of purpose, “I won’t let you go alone. Not again.”

“Marco,” she whimpers, pressing tighter to him.

It’s true, though. Now that they’ve been brought together again, he’s not letting her go. Whatever happens next, they will do together or not at all. He will make sure of that.

 


End file.
